HELP with your VOTE

Last post you read about our new Fair Trade business, called Las Casas.

Now you have a chance to help immediately!  All you have to do is VOTE.  We're entered in a GOOD Maker Challenge, where the idea that receives the most public votes wins a $2,500 grant!!!

Check it out AND Vote here...vote using your FB account or sign up for a GOOD account. THANK YOU...

Plug for Fair Trade

In the last post Jenny gave a plug mention to Las Casas, which is our new Fair Trade business venture in hopes of maintaining long-term relationships and impact in Guatemala.

*fyi, when opening the webpage in a browser it is recommended not to use Internet Explorer (for some reason, IE is not compatible with many websites)

Why the name Las Casas?  Well, for those of you who speak Spanish, 'las casas' is translated to 'homes', but the real meaning behind the name is in recognition of Bartolome de Las Casas.  Bartolome was a Spanish voyager with Columbus to the New World and exemplifies reconciliation.  Bartolome was once an oppressor, but transformed into the 'Defender of the Indians'.  Read more about him, and our founding here.

So the run-down on the business' mission is to MAKE LIFE FAIR.  We realize that there will always be injustice in the world, and the whole world will never be fair, but we KNOW on an individual level that we can be.  You can be.  We want to be intentional about living fairly.  And as a business, we seek to advocate for the oppressed.  We'll be providing indigenous Maya artisans with a consistent income so they can be empowered as leaders in their community and place their families on a direct path outside of poverty.

There are many ways you can get involved with this business venture.

1) Shop: support fair trade artisans

2) Donate: read about the CAUSE here

3) Host a Party: bring your friends together for a buying spree

4) Spread the Word: we're on Facebook, Twitter and Youtube

bringin Guate back...

It's been almost 2 months since we left Guatemala and I'm going through withdrawal. So we've made a few attempts at bringing some of it back...

First we tried to make pupusas. I know, I know, they are really from El Salvador, but we ate them every Friday night in Guate and grew to crave them in no time. There are several women on the street who sell them, and at about 25 cents each you can't go wrong!

Pupusas are corn flour (the same ground corn that is used to make tortillas and tamales) stuffed with yummy fillings (beans, cheese, meat in different combinations) and then made into a stuffed tortilla and grilled or fried. They are delicious and usually served with tomato salsa and a pickled cabbage side. Mmmm

this is what they're supposed to look like

 

please see above the ginormous pupusa my dad made, he had to biggie size it

Chris doesn't look thrilled, but he really does like pupusas

So they definitely weren't quite like the pupusas back home in Guate, but they were a good first attempt and we can only get better (right?)!

A few weeks ago we had a Guate reunion with the lovely ladies (minus my cousin, Jessi, who is in Canada) who came to visit end of May. We began our reunion with some incredible tamales. Everyone in Indy should seriously go to The Tamale Place. Delicious!

Mmmm tamales

Then we spent about 3 hours (no joke) sipping tea and looking at Guate pics and videos. It brought back so many wonderful memories and stories. If we could have, we probably would have bought return flights then and there.

We definitely dressed up for the occasion! While in Pana, I grew to really respect the indigenous communities, their lifestyle, and their way of dress. They back-strap weave their traditional blouses, called guipils, and you can purchase them second-hand to support the communities...and wear beautiful, one of a kind blouses! In this picture we're wearing 4 different guipils from 4 different villages (each village around Lake Atitlan has its own history and it's own traditional clothing).

our beautiful guipils!

And we wore our Guatemalan shoes! Linda bought her little flats at the market in Santiago. I bought my moccasins from a leather man we got to know in San Juan (David has a pair too). And Patsy and Megan bought their cowboy boots in a little town called Pastores (we definitely took a chicken bus in the rain to find them in a village I had never gone to, quite the adventure!).

our Guate shoes

It's always fun to reminisce about Guate and attempt to bring some of it back here. We will always try to keep Guate close to our heart while living in the US, something we are really enjoying doing through our Fair Trade venture, Las Casas. (helpless plug, sorry...but check it out!)

Stuff, stuff, stuff

A sting of anxiety. Pit in my stomach. Heavy sigh. I have so many possessions. I lived for a year with so much less and I was surprisingly so content. I've tried to hold off as long as possible, but this week we began to shuffle through our stored items and revisit our possessions that we packed away neatly over a year ago, which were only a distant memory before...

this is only some of our stuff packed away in a garage

David attempting not to create an avalanche

shoes, shoes, shoes

When we moved to Guatemala we stuffed 4 suitcases with the essentials (probably should have rethought the 15 books which were too heavy) and said good-bye to the majority of our stuff. We took older clothes: nothing new, nothing fancy, nothing expensive. Sure, we acquired things while we were down there. Volunteers who came down would give us their leftover clothes and we happily used them until we returned to the US. But I was so easily content with the few, the old, the re-used, and the simple. Not to mention I had no room to pack make-up, I only blow dried my hair 3 times the whole year, and hair conditioner was a rare treat. It was easy to live simply there. We couldn't fit a lot of things into our apartment. If we had too much stuff and didn't use it frequently enough, it would grow mold within a week during the rainy season.

This week we began to go through all of our old stuff. What blows my mind is that I lived for a year without any of these things and I was happy and content, probably more stress-free than I've ever been (in regards to stuff). But what scares me the most is that all of these possessions won't be enough. In no time I'll find something else that I "need" to buy. Which, we all know I won't need, but I will find a way to justify it. I will purchase it at Goodwill for really cheap, and it will help alleviate any tension. But, as author Jen Hatmaker writes in 7, "I would like to be so focused on the valuable that what I am wearing doesn't even warrant mental space." How incredible would that be?!

Jen continues about how we justify each individual purchase: "This micro-justification easily translates to nearly every purchase I've made. Alone, each item is reduced to an easy explanation, a harmless transaction. But all together we've spent enough to irrevocably change the lives of a hundred thousand people...What if all my silly little individual purchases do matter? What if I joined a different movement, one that was less enticed by luxuries and more interested in justice? What if I believed every dollar spent is vital, a potential soldier in the war on inequality?"

I know that having a closet, or garage, or basement packed with stuff doesn't make me a bad person. But I don't want to want all of that. I don't want to feel like I "need" more things to be content or happy or accepted. I want to have a healthy, detached perspective on things, and I already find that increasingly more difficult here. I want to focus on the big picture: my purchases do matter, every dollar spent is my vote that is directly connected to the world I take part in creating.

Precious Kate!

One of the main reasons we chose our return date from Guatemala was so that we could be here for our niece's birth.  We were so thrilled to be present yesterday when she was born!  Kate Renee is so beautiful (and super cute when she sneezes!).  We're so thankful that mom and baby are healthy and doing really well.  Despite some initial fear of holding such a small little one, David did a great job carrying around all 7 pounds and 8 ounces of her.  We love our little niece so much already!

the adjustment...

"How has it been since your return to the States?" -- I've received this question numerous times the past few weeks. Hmm. Where to begin? How long do you have? Usually I smile and say something like "It's great to be closer to family and friends." It's just so hard to answer that question, there are so many things to say, so many things I'm still processing.

The easy answer is that the best part of being back, by far, is the people. Getting reacquainted with our community, catching up with family, reminiscing with friends...those are definitely the best parts of being back.

But there are also challenges, moments that make me feel like a foreigner, like a stranger. I don't know how to live here. How much is too much, how much is just right, how many questions can my mind tolerate before I self-implode.

Looking for jobs has caused us to question what is priority: jobs we're passionate about or jobs that push us out of comfort zones. We ride the tide of needing jobs to afford to live here and searching out jobs that help us find purpose in living here. We want to work and live in a community where we can dig deep in relationship, in service, in opening our home. Right now, it's all on hold and we're living in a space of not knowing what our lives here are going to look like.

When I think back to our life in Guatemala, it was so much easier to get involved in the community. There were needs everywhere you looked and people willing to engage in relationship. We met so many people by just walking up and down the streets:

We met Belem while eating sandwiches at a bakery. Soon we were coloring and singing together.

We met Lucia and her son, Tomas, on the street where they sold typical Guatemalan items to tourists.

Elias runs his parent's store, mostly on his own. We met him buying a headband.

Raul and David became friends when we first arrived and always joked about David's "love" for tomatoes.

It was easy to make new friends, it was easier to identify needs, and it was common to respond and try to help. It's so different here. We build walls around our needs and only let select people in. Some of us are prideful and don't want to accept help even when we need it. There are so many more barriers that you have to work to overcome before you can even get to know the individual or the need. In Guate there were so many natural opportunities to get to know people, build friendships, and share resources.

I take a step of vulnerability and admit that praying here feels different too. I know it's not true, but sometimes it feels like in the US we don't "need" God for our everyday needs. Back in Guate everyone I talked to, either personal friends or families that came to our office for assistance, everyone accepted the fact that they needed help and they needed God. It was very cultural for people to end conversations saying "If God wills it, we'll see each other again." People were so desperate given their poverty that they prayed to God for everything: corn, a blanket, some milk. Obviously the differences here are stark. If we need milk, we don't pray for it. We buy it.

I don't know what to make of these differences. I wish I could meet people easier and am confirmed that I will just have to work harder here to overcome those barriers. I think we should all pray more with a childlike faith, going to our Father with every need. But, the truth is, we don't have to here. We create our own opportunities to provide for ourselves. We don't have to ask God for it. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't. But it's obviously not cultural here to do so like it is in Guate. I struggle with this. I say it again: I don't know how to live here.

So those are just some of the differences I'm experiencing and how it's affecting our "adjustment back." That's why it's so hard to answer the initial question. Of course we're glad to be back, but it's not as easy to just accept things like I did before. I question a lot more and it's a tiring road. But I think it's good for me, I think it's necessary, and I don't fear living in the questions. When I question more, I find myself depending on God more, and that's always a good thing.

back at it

I know, I know...we're not doing well updating our blog. Since returning to the States I've been having a love-hate-more-hate-than-love relationship with technology. I am amazed at the ease and convenience (and speed!) of technology and online interaction. But it seems surface-level at best and seems to draw people into themselves more than out toward others. I struggle to find a desire to get on facebook, and when I do it's always disappointing. Plus I spend hours online every day looking for jobs so when I have a free hour or two in the evening, getting on my computer is the farthest from my mind. Hence, no blogging either. But I want to do better. I know that technology can serve a good purpose and so I will try to do better.

Here we go....living in the States again. It's been such a treat getting together with friends and family and spending quality time with people. There's a lot to catch up on and "get to know" (our extended family gained 3 babies, 2 pregnancies, and 1 fiance while we were gone!). There seem to be a lot of physical changes (homes, jobs, schooling) but over-all I've actually been shocked at how many things are still the same. A year is really not a long time when you look at the big picture.

One huge adjustment upon returning was driving. We didn't drive anything (except David had a bike) for the entire year we lived in Guate. We walked everywhere and really grew to love it. When you walk to and from places there are so many natural opportunities to say hi to people along the way, catch up with the shop-keeper you pass on main street, or give a hug to the bakery owner's daughter. It was the best way for us to get to know our town and the people in it. You couldn't walk more than a block without seeing a familiar face and greeting them. I miss this tremendously.

I feel very isolated now. We drive around in our spheres of metal and have almost no opportunity to talk to anyone as we zoom past. It's quicker and more time efficient, but driving is also more isolating and draws you in to thinking about your day, your schedule, your timeline, and how many minutes you have to get to your destination before you're late. So, coming back it was not something I looked forward to. But the make-up of our cities is so different it's hard to avoid. If you want to see someone, you basically have to drive to them.

About 2 weeks ago I was driving on Interstate 465 to go see my cousin and I was rear-ended, spun out through 3 lanes of interstate traffic, and hit the median. It was by far the worst wreck I've ever been in. At one point I faced on-coming traffic head on and thought for sure I was going to be hit by a pick-up. Thank God I walked away without any injuries. But my desire to drive, or be in a car, plummeted and now I really hate driving. Before living in Guate, I had to tell myself to slow down and quit speeding. Now I find myself driving below speed limit and I have to remind myself to increase acceleration. It's crazy! I think David is rather pleased with my new driving tendencies, as he always thought I sped too much before. My car was totaled and we're down to being a one-car family. It's okay for now, but once we both have jobs (Lord haste the day!) it will be more difficult.

Job searching is dauntingly slow and tedious. It's completely electronic and on-line, which I hate. If I could just meet someone face-to-face and have a chance to talk about my resume or experience, I think I'd have a chance. But right now I'm an electronic resume and one of hundreds of applicants without a face. It's tough to just get an interview.

But thank God for our parents who have opened their homes (and refrigerators) to us. We definitely could not do it without them. The majority of our stuff is still stored away in our parents' garage and basement, so it hasn't been too crazy attempting to go through all of our stuff. I know somewhere there are still suitcases of clothes and shoes that we still haven't seen, and I think I'd like to keep it that way for now. The thought of unpacking and realizing how much stuff we own causes me to cringe a little. More on that later...

So those are the "logistical" updates of living back in the States. I want to blog more soon about the "inner-emotional" updates of living in the land of plenty. Overall, we're doing well adjusting and taking it all in. It is such a huge blessing that David and I have each other and can converse about things we aren't comfortable with or blessings in disguise. Sometimes we reminisce about Guate and all we can say to each other is how much we miss it. I think we're realizing that Guatemala challenged all of the answers we thought we knew and held dear, and now we're given the painfully beautiful opportunity to live amidst the questions.

I leave you with one of my favorite benedictions, which has been close to my heart since we've returned:

"May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen"

and we're back...

We have returned to North America once again.  We're still adjusting, still taking it all in with "new" eyes, still missing Guatemala and our friends there, but also very grateful. We returned to the US just in time to unpack, then re-pack, then leave the country again! We really wanted to make it to our cousin's wedding in Canada, but we weren't sure if we were going to be able to swing it so we kept it a secret. But I'm writing this from a patio view of beautiful British Columbia and the secret is out! We've enjoyed being in Canada on a lake surrounded by mountains...it reminds us a little bit of back home in Guatemala.

It was a crazy last couple of weeks in Guatemala. We met with so many friends and painfully said good-bye to them, not knowing when we'd be reunited again. There were many tears and lots of hugs and we were overwhelmed with the generosity of many under-resourced families who gave us beautiful gifts to remember them by. We had to get an extra suitcase from Mayan Families mainly to fit all of the gifts we received. We were overwhelmed by their generosity and love. While it was extremely painful saying good-bye, we know that we can never forget these friends and the blessing they have been to us. We will always be connected through prayer and fond memories.

Our last visit with the Rodriguez family. We got together on what would have been baby Merari's second birthday.

One last picture of David, Lucia, and Tomas (to appreciate the height difference between David and Lucia) 

We made bracelets with several children before we left as a fun farewell activity

Flying into the US we were stunned by huge parking lots, pristine highways, and about a billion Starbucks in the airports. But we were thrilled to be greeted by our immediate family members in the Indy airport and we all went out to dinner for endless salads (oh how I missed you salad!) at Olive Garden. It was wonderful to be reunited with all of our family and catch up on all the little things we missed over the past year. I only accidently spoke Spanish to the waitress once.

Being back is an emotional mix of everything: joy, anticipation, fear, sadness, shock, luxury, and everything in between. Our first morning back I went on a long run alone and decided that I wouldn't...I couldn't...look for answers. I had to find a way to live in peace with all the questions and all the tension. It never seems fair that we can come and go as we please, experience parts of the global north and south, and ultimately choose our professions, lives, and opportunities because we have the resources to do so. But I can't ask the why questions anymore. They lead me down a dead-end road of guilt and hopelessness. I will never have an answer for why I was born into a beautiful world filled with love and opportunity while so many are born into a world of pain and poverty. I will always be fuzzy concerning the fine line between building a financially stable future and not storing treasures on this earth. Is there such a thing as "being too generous" you may ask, and I have no answer. I have to be okay with not having answers. I have to find peace in the struggle, in the tension, in the messy dialogue. And that is my prayer as we return. 

David and I had about a billion conversations about US re-entry when we lived in Guatemala. Our last night in Guatemala I cried out of fear and deep tension. I felt like my heart was breaking and I would forever be leaving pieces of myself in Guatemala. But yet my heart is always with our friends and family in North America too. So I guess you could say my heart is broken. But you could also say my heart is growing as it remains with so many loved ones all over the world. And the truth is that my heart may be like this forever, stretched and torn and broken, yet perhaps more complete than it has ever been before.

So I'm slowly learning to find peace and contentment amidst the questions, the tension, and even a broken heart. God never promised us comfort and ease and that's not what I want to seek. In fact, I'm trying to cope with the pit in my stomach at the sight of so much comfort around me in North America. There are loftier purposes which we are made for and I humbly attempt to seek that uncomfortable and narrow road, step by step.

(Many have asked if we're going to continue our blog State-side and we have every intention to do so. Give us a bit as we re-adjust and get back into our rhythm, but we hope to update more frequently on our ideas and hopes for living back in the good ole USA)

be still

Living here has taught me to be still. Sometimes it feels like that's all I can really do. I had a woman cry to me yesterday for injustices I can't go into on this blog. My heart broke for her, my Spanish faltered, and I honestly couldn't do a thing. I sat still with her, just listening.

It's funny though. When I see an injustice, when I see pain, my body wants to do something. I want to respond, my mind races with ways I can help. But sometimes there is nothing more to be done than just to be still and listen.

It used to be that when I thought of serving God I thought of doing. But more and more, I realize that from a Biblical perspective it's much more important to be than to do.

Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.

Psalm 46:10

Straight to the heart of all of us do-ers. How is God exalted? By us being still and relishing in His existance, in the knowledge of who He is. This verse has intrigued me lately and it's growing to be one of my favorites.

In the hectic schedules of our day, it's a challenge to be still. But perhaps it is necessary to still our minds, our bodies, our hearts and truly reflect on who our God is. Perhaps that is the best way God is exalted. Not in huge acts or miraculous works, but just in being with God and being of God. I think this verse highlights the simplicity of the human-God dynamic. God is not looking for us to fix, to heal, to answer. Against all our natural instincts, I think He is looking for us to reflect, believe, be.

That's what God's been showing me lately...

S of D and Personality Challenges and Q of D

Deuteronomy 6:4-9
"Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.  And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.  And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.  Repeat them again and again to your children.  Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.  Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders.  Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

I have an introverted personality, so I tend to process things silently and within myself.  This verse passage speaks to me as a reminder that I ought to be living my faith outwardly, which does not always come naturally as an introvert.  If I mix the tiredness of a given morning with my tendency not to talk unnecessarily, then it becomes a challenge to "talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are waking up."  But I appreciate the meaning and the importance shown upon our interactions and shared communications.

I will strive to be a better communicator and be aware of my faith in all situations of daily life.  After all, as a Diamond Commercial once stated, "with every waking moment...love grows."

Culture Shock

The opportunity to travel and meet people from other cultures and see other parts of the world has changed me. It has made me who I am today. When I was 12 my family spent 3 months in Brazil. I returned a completely different person. I remember flying home just a few days before I was going to start middle school. I was a little nervous, but more excited. Then I got home and saw some of my friends and immediately felt insecure about my clothes and shoes. After spending the entire summer in Brazil, I left a lot of my things there and returned home with only 3 pairs of shoes. I was fine with that until I was reunited with my friends and all of a sudden the thought of beginning  middle school with only 3 pairs of shoes was unacceptable and I had to buy more. My experiences in Brazil stayed with me, but I slowly re-immersed in American culture. I hate it that I lost touch with many dear friends in Brazil, but my life in America over-powered my desire to stay united with our Brazilian friends and experiences.

Throughout college I traveled a lot, mostly short trips here and there, but they always challenged me and shaped me. In 2007, I traveled to Guatemala from May to August to study Spanish. I had a rough first month; I missed familiarity. But by the end of my trip, I had fallen in love with Guatemala and its people and its culture. For the first time in my life, I felt proficient in another language and could communicate with a population I never could before. I was more relaxed, more content, and I enjoyed the little things like walking to class in the mornings or sitting on a curb with a child selling bracelets. I felt like I was able to really be present in each moment and had the freedom and joy to really invest in the people around me. I became friends with a lot of families who couldn't afford things we consider necessities in America. For the first time in my life, poverty had a face and a name and I encountered it every single day.

In the middle of my summer in Antigua, I lived for a short time with my Spanish teacher. We became good friends and spent most of our evenings sitting at her kitchen table talking. One Saturday she had a commitment so I had most of the day free to myself. I sat at her kitchen table, opened my Bible to Matthew 1, and read straight through for about 4-5 hours. I was shocked, humbled, and frightened by the multitude of verses regarding poverty, equality, and God's will for us who have more regarding those who have less. I think reading those verses, while experiencing and seeing so much poverty every day, completely changed my life.

I saw that God holds us to a very high standard when it comes to how we treat those who have less. We are called to give out of our plenty. Our love is measured by our actions toward the poor. And perhaps most awakening is that He puts Himself on the side of the poor and sees Himself as one of them. These verses spoke to the depth of my heart.

When I flew home, I had a connection in the Miami airport. The different "feel" in Miami was shocking. Everyone was rushing, no one seemed to look at anyone, eyes were glued to plastic screens, and don't even get me started on the price for a slice of pizza. I was in shock. I missed the familiarity and simplicity of Guatemala and I felt like I didn't belong in this culture. I called my mom and sobbed on the phone. I honestly didn't know how I was going to readjust. After I got off the phone with my mom, I called a friend and cried again with her. I sat at my terminal and cried for probably 35 minutes. I don't think a single other person around me even noticed.

Thus began my culture shock and readjustment to life in the US. The next few months were hard. I was in a crisis. I didn't know who I was: how could I have lived so easily and comfortably with so much excess before? And I didn't know who I wanted to be: should I just conform and fit in? Should I fight it? How will I ever be accepted? I had a lot of trouble with the excess that I saw around me everywhere. I wouldn't enter a mall. I shunned Starbucks. I even remember crying at a Panera because a salad was so expensive. There was this massive tension that I could not come to peace with and I didn't know how to respond.

Eventually I leveled out a bit, but I have never been able to return to the same person I was before that time. I drink Starbucks today and I do go to a mall from time to time, but I still have trouble with purchasing new things or seeing excess. Just last year I cried in a Kohl's parking lot over a pair of black boots. The tension remains.

It has alwasy been extremely difficult for me to verbalize these experiences. Let's be honest, we all have past histories that have shaped us in ways that other people just can't understand. The idea of living a child like faith that allows me to simply trust in God for everything often scares me. I often fail. But my heart is most alive when I am being challenged to get out of my comfort zone and serve the least of these. The foundaiton of it all is the greatest challenge of my life, which is to see and serve God all around me.

I'm still dealing with the tension. I still don't really think I fit into typical American culture. I accept the fact that I have been exposed to very different worlds and they do not fit well together. And my attempt to fit into both has been difficult. I guess I'm somewhere in the middle, trying to accept my privilege and not feel guilty for it and trying to always remain aware of the poverty and needs around me. I will always live with this tension, but I'm learning to be okay with that. I guess it's part of life. It's part of living in a world we are not made for.

All that to say, I'm a little worried about returning to US culture. I'm going to try to avoid connections in Miami. ( : I'm praying for God to prepare my heart and my mind and to allow me to focus on the important things. I plan on going for long runs and journaling a lot. As always, your prayers are more than appreciated. May God show us all how we can best LOVE and serve Him in the cultures and communities we reside. Amen.

Make Shopping Charitable

It's not too late to become a regular at Buy-It-Forward, where online shopping is charitable and empowers consumer spending.  At the end of this month five new charities will receive B-I-F donations, so be sure to get your vote in now (click here)!

You'll be surprised how easy it is to shop with your favorite retailers through Buy-It-Forward.  And when you do make your online purchases after clicking the links from Buy-It-Forward, a percent of your total cost is automatically commissioned to Buy-It-Forward and donated to charities!

And by the way, in case you don't know what to shop for online, my sister just so happens to have a baby registry with Target...which would be a great place to start shopping charitably...find it here.

Visitors!

We've been blessed to have lots of visitors this past month!  It's always great to share our lives here and introduce visitors from back home to new friends and community here.  We're sad to see them all leave, but are so honored that they made the trip! 

At the beginning of June we had a small group of family come - my mom, my cousin Jessi, my "Aunt" Patsy, my "Aunt" Linda, and Meghan.  Okay, so they're not all blood related, but they are family nonetheless. 


The group minus Megan. I didn't take any pictures so I borrowed this one - I'm sorry I don't have one with you Megan!

We spent a few days in Antigua, then we headed to Pana where we kept busy with work visits to homes and preschools, Spanish school, volunteering, and we tried to always end the day with dessert!  I was so impressed with how these women opened their hearts to the community and allowed themselves to fall in love with the people.  It was really great for me to view our life and work from a fresh perspective.  We had some great conversations about service and poverty and I felt filled with genuine fellowship.



The blood relatives

And of course we were David's greatest cheerleaders!  Someone has a video of us doing the wave in the gym, cheering and screaming for David and his team, The Mean Machines. They won both games and we take partial responsibility for that. ( :  I will be lonely this weekend cheering for David alone.

And then mid-June two of my best friends from college came to visit!  I was grateful for their bravery to tackle the journey and customs alone and arrive in a foregin country at 9pm - as one had never left the country before.  We started our journey in Guatemala City, did a quick stop in Antigua, and then spent the majority of time in Pana.  We had fun together shopping and making home-made meals in my tiny kitchen.  They came along to work with me a few times, but also set out on their own adventures with Linda, who was staying longer for Spanish school.

They were with me when I visited Rodrigo, which ended up being a very emotional day/weekend.  I was grateful for their companionship and support during the process.  They were so compassionate and wanted to do something to help.  It always helps to face pain when you're surrounded by close community (who let you cry and rant for hours).

A huge thank you to all of our visitors for coming!  We were blessed by your fellowship, support, and conversations.  Thank you for coming and allowing us to share our lives -- the beauty and the pain -- with you.  We are honored that you took the time, energy, and resources to come.  We can't thank you enough!

We are now turning our attention towards a long list of things we want to do, people we want to visit, and last-time experiences before we depart.  Reality is sinking in that we really are leaving our once-foreign-now-comfortable home.  Some days we are itching to be close to family and friends, to sit for hours in conversation and process.  Other days I'm just not sure how we'll say good-bye to our Guatemalan friends here.  We know God will provide the words and the way.  Step by step.

a birthday surprise

Celebrating my birth was a bit paradoxical after my recent experience visiting Rodrigo on his deathbed.  We actually spent the morning going to San Jorge to visit Rodrigo and his family.  Somehow, miraculously, he is still hanging on despite not eating for almost a week and only drinking spoonfuls of water.  While we were in San Jorge we also visited Santiago and his family.  The last time we visited them Santiago was working so he wasn't there.  It was great to be able to talk with him this time and see his family.  His grandson, Jefrey Javier, had a really bad rash that he was still recovering from, but he appeared happy nonetheless.

Then in the afternoon we went to church as normal.  Each week different people come to the services.  There are a few of us regulars, but there are always different visitors or different street kids who pop in from time to time.  Sunday was great because most of the regulars were in attendance and a few of my favorite street kids were there too.  Most of the time the kids come for the free coffee and cookies and then leave during the worship songs, missing the entire sermon.  But, for whatever reason, a few of them stuck around for the entire service on Sunday.  One of them, an 11-year old named Jesus, even shouted out an answer during the sermon and we were all impressed with his wisdom for such a young boy.

As always, the sermon was finished and we closed out with a song.  And then the worship leader stated that they'd like to end with one more song.  Happy Birthday filled the air and before I knew it the entire church was singing Happy Birthday to me.  And then a woman from the church carried out a chocolate birthday cake with candles.  I was so surprised!  My sweet husband had planned the whole thing and completely surprised me.  It's always great to have chocolate cake for your birthday, but what made it so special was that we were able to share the birthday cake with the entire church.  Little Jesus, the other kids who spend their days on the street selling knick-knacks, the recovering alcoholics, the gringos...the entire congregation was able to share together.

I was so happy watching the kids eat their cake.  I know it's rare for them to get sweet treats, so it basically made my entire day.  I was so surprised and overwhelmed when Jesus and his friend, Miguel, each brought me a gift!  Of course they had no idea that it was my birthday until the cake was served, but they each generously gave me a little gift from their stash of things they sell on the street, even though I know they really can't afford it.  I have been overwhelmed by the generosity of our Guatemalan friends who upon hearing it was my birthday gave me a gift.  It's overwhelming to see how those who really can't afford it give so generously!

My birthday gifts from Jesus (left) and Miguel (right)

In the back of our church there is a small room that has been converted into a "movie theater" with a screen projector, a few chairs, and big throw pillows.  I should explain that our church is actually a restaurant Monday-Saturday which closes on Sundays for our worship gathering.  After the service we had some time to kill before dinner so we let the street kids pick out a movie and we headed for the theater room.  The church/restaurant has a wall full of movies because they sometimes show movies on Tuesday nights.  It was fun to see the kids search through the rows and rows of movies and pick what they wanted.  Of all the movies, they settled on Pinocchio. ( :

It was really special being able to visit two families that have greatly impacted me and then to be able to share cake with a very diverse community.  I'm so thankful for a compassionate husband who creatively finds ways to give and share.  It was a beautiful day!

a dying promise

Today I took a few volunteers to a nearby town called San Jorge.  We were scheduled to do a few home visits and then stop in at the preschool and load up on hugs and smiles.  It turned out to be a very different morning.

Our second stop was a man named Rodrigo.  He's been suffering from diabetes for 7 years, has never had a constant supply of insulin, and so he's in and out of the hospital frequently.  We had heard he was doing badly again and so we wanted to stop in and get an update and see what we could do.  On these trips, I'm normally accompanied by my co-worker, Elisa, who is fluent in Kaqchiquel, as most people in San Jorge don't speak Spanish well.  It just so happened that Rodrigo is Elisa's uncle, so she was more than happy to accompany us on the visit.

I came in to work this morning ready for our visits when Elisa told me that Rodrigo was not doing well at all.  He had taken a turn for the worse and the family was beginning to gather around him.  I knew what that meant.  If someone is near death the entire family is called in and everyone surrounds the bed and waits together until the final hour.  I asked Elisa if we should still visit him, since I was bringing 3 white visitors with me.  But she was anxious to return to his home, so we all went.

Upon entering the small home, I immediately saw women crying and my heart sank.  Guatemalans don't show a lot of emotion, so I knew it was bad.  We were led into a small bedroom where an extremely thin, frail man lay in a bed under 3 blankets.  He was surrounded by his wife and other family members.  The room was hot and sticky and quiet as people cried silently.

It was a difficult situation to walk into, but I talked with the wife and took notes concerning his health.  He hadn't eaten in 3 days, he was mostly unconscious, and he did not want to return to the hospital.  If someone is admitted to the hospital and ends up dying in the hospital, it's a very expensive ordeal.  Not only does the family have to pay for the hospital bills, but they also have to pay for a specially licensed car to transport the corpse back to their town.  This is very expensive and has actually caused some families to leave their deceased loved ones in the hospital because they can't afford the transportation costs.

Between the hospital bills and funeral costs, many families go into great debt when a loved one dies.  Rodrigo did not want to put his family in this financial turmoil, so he was confident that he didn't want to return to the hospital.

After about 45 minutes of talking with the family, we decided it was time to go.  Rodrigo appeared asleep, or unconscious, during our entire visit.  I was proud of myself for keeping my emotions in check, although I had teared up once I didn't think anyone noticed.  We were walking out when Elisa called me to quickly come back.  Rodrigo had woken up.

We returned into the room and the family immediately ushered me to Rodrigo's bedside. Me?! Why me?! If he's only awake for a few moments shouldn't his wife and family talk with him?  But the family guided me to the edge of his bed, where I timidly sat.

Rodrigo slowly stretched his hand out toward me and I held his cold hand in my own.  It appeared to take him much effort and time, but he slowly told me that he was worried for his 4 children.  He looked me straight in the eye and said, "Please help my family. They need food. I worry for them."  I gently stroked his hand and told him that I would help them.  I wouldn't leave his children with nothing to eat.  I told him not to worry, that he needed his rest, and that I would find a way to help his children.

He slowly raised his other hand and painfully told me thank you.  He slowly said he was grateful that I was there and would help his family.  He said "May God bless you and reward you."  At that point I burst into tears.  I did not feel like I should be the one sitting on his bed holding his hand, I felt inadequate and at a loss.  I wanted to do more, go get my boss or someone with any type of authority to come and talk to him and assure him we would help.  Who am I to offer this dying man any type of hope or peace?  What could I give him?  Just my word.  Against all of Mayan Families rules, I promised him that I would personally help him and I told him I was praying for him and his family.  I told him God had blessed him with a beautiful family and I would make sure they were cared for.

Elisa and I sat on his bed and just cried.  I had nothing to offer them except my word that I would help this family.  It's hard enough to find words to say during these moments in English...let alone Spanish.  I got up and asked his wife to sit with him, that I wanted her to have the chance to talk to him.

I felt like I shouldn't have been the one talking to this dying man.  My Spanish was broken, my voice wavered with tears, my word was all I had to give.  But the family believed that I could do something, that I could help in ways that they cannot.  So they wanted Rodrigo to have the chance to ask me for help, to hear from me that I would find a way, to rest at peace knowing that someone somewhere was going to help him.  It's been a few hours since I left them and the weight of my promise still lays heavy on my heart.

We were able to bring a doctor to his bedside, who says that he'd have a chance at survival if he'd go to a doctor right away.  But Rodrigo refuses.  His family supports him.  Deep within they know that he is dying and they can't afford to have him die in a hospital.  As we were leaving, the family bought 4 bottles of pure water for myself and the other visitors.  They wanted to give us something for visiting.  I was sick at the thought of accepting anything from them, but I knew how offensive it would be to decline.

The injustice of the situation is that Rodrigo spent his life working in the fields to take care of his family.  He contracted a disease that should have been manageable with medication, but his poverty prevented him from having proper treatment.  So he now lies on his deathbed, too poor to die in a hospital where he may have a fighting chance.  And during his final moments on this earth, he worries for his family.  He worries that they won't have enough to eat.  He worries that his illness will leave his family in debt.  And he has no one with any resources to voice his worries to than a young white girl who just happened to pay him a visit that day.  He and his family have no where else to go.  He can't even afford to die.

coming "home"

We wanted to let you all know that we have come to a decision about our length of time living here in Guatemala.  After lots of prayer and consideration, we have decided not to renew our work contracts for another year.  We have truly loved living here and experiencing life in Guatemala, but we feel it's time to return to the States.  We haven't bought our flights yet, but we're planning on returning to the Indianapolis area around August-ish.

We can't even begin to count the ways that Guatemala has shaped us, challenged us, renewed our hearts, and given us a stronger passion to continuously be living lives connected to service and justice.  It has been an incredible journey, one that we see as a beginning and definitely not an end.

Living here will shape every aspect of our lives as we move back home.  We're both anticipating some culture shock as we readjust to American culture.  We ask for your patience, your prayers, and we ask that you please don't take us anywhere expensive for a while. ( :

Thank you so much to the many of you who have prayed through this journey with us, who have sent encouragement in various forms, and who have been sources of insight and support through some difficult times while living here.  We look forward to reuniting with friends and family and forming a new kind of community back in Indiana.

We LOVE you all and can't wait to continue the journey back home together!
-David & Jenny

Life in Guatemala: the rainy season

Everyone in Guatemala dreads the rainy season. It doesn't take long for the roads to flood and you're walking in ankle deep water...in flip flops.

But on a more serious note, the rainy season in Guatemala can be a source of much pain and disaster.  Typically, the rain begins in May and lasts until October.  However, people are seeing changes in the normal cycles and the rain has been coming earlier.  It usually rains anywhere from an hour to a few hours each afternoon/evening.  But again, this can vary greatly.  Panajachel, and many of the towns around Lake Atitlan, are located in a basin and sit at the bottom of several surrounding mountains.  This makes these towns very prone to flooding and mudslides during the rain.

The rainy season officially started a few weeks ago (although it rained quite a bit in April).  For the first few days all the water coming out of our faucets (including our shower) was brown.  It smelled bad and was obviously bad for our health.  It's also not uncommon to have frequent power outages.  Just today at work we had no power for a few hours.  And most everything becomes damp.  Clothes, shoes, sheets...it all feels damp and easily grows mold.  And that's just from my personal experience, and I live in a well-built home.  One cannot imagine the dampness and mold growing in the homes built of aluminum and mud.  It has made us so thankful for a home that keeps us dry.

When we came in September we went through a month of normal rain each day.  But in early October a tropical storm hit and we got a taste of a bad rainy season.  It rained continuously for 4 days: all day and all night.  Panajachel's tiny river, which is usually only a few feet deep at best, grew quickly.  The dirty, brown water created fast currents that were very dangerous.  Several homes that were built close to the banks of the river were in serious danger of collapsing and some actually did, as pictured below.  Most people with homes this close to the river have to abandon their homes during these difficult times.  They often have no where else to go, so the town gymnasium becomes a temporary shelter.

There are 2 bridges that cross this river, but one was completely washed out in October.

Homes that aren't swept into the river are in danger of flooding.  Muddy water pours down from the mountains surrounding Pana and mudslides become a very real threat.  A few years ago there was a mudslide outside of Santiago that killed almost 300 people.  Homes that can withstand the flooding are filled with mud.  Other homes collapse under the stress.

We only have 2 roads that enter Panajachel.  If one of them is forced to close, which is not uncommon during the rainy season, then the other is used only for emergencies.  Mudslides often cause rock slides, and last October there was a boulder the size of a car that fell in the middle of one of our streets.  They had to use dynamite to break it open and remove it.

The rainy season is difficult on everyone, but it's a terrible risk for poor families who don't have adequate shelter. Their health, safety, and few material belongings are all at great risk. Many homes have dirt floors, which becomes mud in the rain and children who sleep on the floor easily get cold and sick. Sometimes it's difficult to sleep in our warm, dry bed at night thinking of how many families are wet and cold. So the next time it rains, let's all send up a prayer for those who are in the midst of the rainy season and without adequate shelter.

The Actions Prompted by Values

We recently had a nice small group discussion with several other young expats living in Guatemala.  All of us grew up in the States, so we wanted to process thoughts regarding ways and ideas to connect and convey our experiences abroad in beneficial ways to friends and family.  The importance behind the subject lies within the fear that saying 'we lived simply' or 'we sacrificed making money' or 'we served', or something to that affect, would come across as being better than someone who hasn't done what we've done.

So here's what I'm thinking.  In no way whatsoever would I ever begin to share my experiences because I want to 'teach' something for reasons thinking I'm better.  I believe community is a very important aspect of life.  I believe sharing my experiences is a form of community, of which love is expressed.  If I weren't to share my experiences, then it would mean that I'm not contributing to our community (whether it's for an individual relationship, small group, workplace, etc).

I also believe that sharing isn't meant to be manipulated as a 'change' agent.  I recently 'liked' a quote posted on Facebook that said, "consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you'll have in trying to change others" (official quote by Jacob Braude).  I believe change is inevitable, and, better yet, a good thing.  We need change.  Look at history.  Before major advancements in technology, such as cellphones and internet, what were social lives like?  Change is always happening.  But change is always for an individual to be done by that individual.  I can't, or don't want to, force it upon you.  For example, just because the technology is available doesn't mean it changes me.  People change, whether knowingly or not, through their actions of participating in the technology.

So it's the same with sharing...the sharing, or conversing of experiences may help someone change, but the meaning behind sharing is to love and to engage, and sometimes to challenge, so what is said or shared doesn't change someone, but rather the person chooses to change or be influenced by what they heard, saw, etc.

In our small group discussion the topic of values arose.  What do we like about living in Guatemala?  We enjoy the beauty of the land, the small/local businesses, the friendliness of the people walking on the streets, no traffic, the work ethic of the laborers (who walk several miles with firewood bundled on their backs by a strap around their forehead), and the simplicity of day to day life (only needing to spend a few dollars a day, buying fruit or vegetables that are only available because they're in season, walking or riding a bike). But those are all things that people can achieve in their lifestyle in the States, as well, so why live in Guatemala?  We moved to Guatemala because we wanted to, because we had a lot to learn from the culture, because sometimes in the States we just lose focus of life by participating in 'too much'.

In reality, what does the generalized culture of the States value?  I mostly view it as power.  It's about setting yourself up to succeed, to achieve privilege and benefits.  So yes, to many opinions, Jenny and I moving to Guatemala is countercultural.  We've essentially diminished all opportunities to earn an income, or to move up the ladder within a company or workplace.  But that's not what we've been valuing.  Guatemala has meant so much to us because we've gained better understandings about poverty, about work ethic, about community, and about God.

I've been learning that I tend to look at my 'work' for satisfaction.  For example, I want to see results in the projects I do, so when I don't see those results or when work is slow or boring, I feel dissatisfied.  Now that I know I have that tendency, I've been able to slowly tweak my habit into refocusing my attention to God, and to the simple day to day opportunities that are always present.  Rather than expecting my personal achievements to fulfill me, why not let God fill me?  I don't know why that was so difficult for me to realize before, but being in Guatemala has helped me understand that.  I want to be honorable like the day-laborer who suffers back pain from carrying so much wood, but yet he does it because that's what he has to do.  It's how he can provide for his family, he doesn't do it for personal satisfaction...it's just work, after all.  Yet when you come across such a day-laborer, they seem full of life.

I believe that everyone has their experiences for a reason, and those reasons are good.  Just because someone does something different than me doesn't mean its disrespectful, like 'why aren't they doing it like me?'  Who cares why, everybody's got to do things as they know it, but we've got to use it as a learning opportunity and as an opportunity to be open-minded.  Because it's a given, what I know today I will someday know to be different.  God is constantly revealing himself, and the truth is we'll never fully know.

All that to say, we will be returning to the States someday, and I personally really look forward to it, except for the culture shock adjustments.  Even though we chose the unconventional, countercultural path by living in Guatemala, I have been able to make considerable professional strides; strides that I otherwise never would have come to see as an option.  In fact, I'm in the process of building my dream in starting my own business.  It'll be a fair trade business, that will hopefully be a longterm opportunity for us to maintain connections and relationships in Guatemala.  More info about the business and the launch of the website will come soon...

Life in Guatemala: food

Many of you have probably heard us describe our meals here. Lots of beans, carrots, and corn. It's hard to get too out of the box because our kitchen is super simple and our food options are pretty standard.

We mostly shop at the local outdoor market. It's a bright and colorful experience, but it doesn't always smell good thanks to hanging dead chickens, raw beef laying around, and piles of fish. But I think it's much more fun than normal grocery store shopping. Women in colorful traje offer you the best of their products, and even sometimes offer you taste tests! We usually buy carrots, potatoes, green beans, zucchini, cucumbers, and broccoli. There's no option to find out of season foods, so we enjoyed avocado season while it lasted and are now enjoying mango season!

We also go to The Dispensa, the biggest grocery store in town - the only one with a parking lot, to buy our meat. It appears to be the most hygienic place to buy meat because it's refrigerated and comes in plastic baggies. As opposed to the market where meat hangs in the open air and they chop off whatever amount you want. However, The Dispensa is actually owned by Wal-Mart (I know, it's everywhere!) so we try to shop local as much as possible.

There are lots of little tiendas all over town that sell basic products: beans, cereal, crackers, powdered milk. There are also 3 small stores that specialize in importing some of our favorites: brown rice, whole wheat pasta, whole wheat bread, tahini, chickpeas, and canned peas. It's more expensive, but we're grateful that we can even get these products!

Cooking is often a longer process than normal. We have to sanitize most of our veggies by soaking them in a Clorox solution for 5 minutes. Then you rinse them in pure water before eating. For this reason, we hardly ever eat salads (so sad). Salad takes a lot of time to disinfect and even then it's the most high-risk food to eat since everything is wet and raw. It's a lot of work to go through for "rabbit food" as my husband would say.

I think I have branched out with a few things though. My favorite dessert is cookies, but we have no oven so I've made a few batches of no-bake cookies and no-bake cookie dough dip (thank you Pinterest!). I mash chickpeas with a fork to make hummus, but it's still super thick. My newest venture is veggie burgers. A co-worker was a vegetarian for years so she gave me some yummy ideas. I mostly stick to black bean, chickpea, garlic, carrot burgers. My dear husband, who would never eat veggie burgers in the States (how I miss Morning Star) actually approves and asks for me to make them!

And a huge thanks to the many of you who have mailed us seasonings, sauces, and ways to flavor up our meals. Thanks to you we have had some great, flavorful meals at home!

I don't know why I'm making the same face in the above 2 pictures

Two foods that we've really grown to love here are pupusas and empanadas. Pupusas are larger corn tortillas stuffed with beans, cheese, and meat (or whatever you want). They are delicious, cheap, and relatively safe street food. We have developed a tradition of eating them every Friday night. Mmmmm.

A co-worker made great empanadas from scratch and invited us over to teach us. I took notes. ( : We will definitely be making those when we have access to an oven back home!

So that's a synopsis of our food habits here in Guatemala. It's been a different diet for us, and we've learned to get used to the same dishes over and over, but we're thankful for the little variety that we do have. But we've already decided the first place we want to go when we return to the States is Arby's. ( :