a heavy heart...

This past week has been difficult.

We were at church on Sunday and a woman who comes every week walked in with a black eye. I've been here long enough to immediately suspect she'd been beaten by a man. After talking with her in private she told me that the father of her 1 year old daughter tried to kill her and her daughter because he doesn't want to pay child support. She had a black eye, both of her arms were bruised up and down, and she told me her ribs and chest were also bruised. I asked her to come to Mayan Families the following morning, but first made sure she had a safe place to sleep that night. She came to our office and we're going through the legal process of charging him and getting a restraining order. This is not the first time I've had to sit in front of a weeping mother, blackened and bruised because of a man, as she begs for help and protection for her children. It is a devastating problem that plagues this country and often it feels like there is so little we can do. Please pray for this mother and her 1-year old daughter, Daniella, who brings so much joy to our church services by walking to the front and dancing to the worship songs.

Then on Monday morning the difficulties continued. There is a family I've been working with who live about 3 hours away but come to Pana frequently for our help. They are extremely poor and one of their 9 children is so malnourished that she cannot walk. The parents suffer various health problems, but after a recent medical exam here in Pana, we were notified that the mother is HIV positive. After telling the mother and father, we decided all of the children (and 3 grandkids) need to also be tested. On Monday I found out that 3 of the children and one of the grandchildren are positive. Plus one of the daughters is 6 months pregnant but wasn't able to come to be tested. It's so urgent that we get her tested as soon as possible, but she's afraid. This family doesn't have enough money to buy food. They are hungry and weak. And now 5 of them, possible 6, have a life-long disease that requires a huge amount of expensive medication. Not to mention the cost of transportation to get them from their rural village to the capital where they are receiving the testing and, hopefully, treatment. It's very difficult to think of these 4 children who's lives are forever changed. It's almost as if the innocence of their childhood has been stolen from them and they're now dependent on a hospital 3 hours away for life-sustaining medicine. Please pray for this entire family.

And then on Wednesday morning I received the tragic news of a dear friend and missionary, Julie Kurrle and her 6 year old son, Timmy who were both killed in a car accident in Paraguay. I could fill a book with my respect and admiration for Julie, a loving wife, a devoted follower of Christ, an outspoken voice for His Kingdom, and a courageous disciple who crossed cultural boundaries to defend the weak and share His love. She did great work with Children of Promise and I looked up to her in so many ways. She and her husband dedicated their lives to working on the side of the poor and proclaiming the One Hope that overcomes the poverty of this world. Julie had a huge heart for orphan care and adoption, and I only wish I could someday follow the path she paved. Six year old Timmy was a sweet boy who was supposed to have a life of adventure ahead of him. It was cut too short much too soon. I remember once when Julie, Norb, and Timmy were at a dinner at my parent's house. Timmy was playing with some of my mom's glassware and Julie quietly and calmly pulled him aside and gently taught him why it wasn't a good idea to play with such fragile objects. She spoke to him so sweetly that I was immediately impressed with her gentle motherhood teachings. Timmy quietly obeyed his mom and went to play outside with sticks and rocks. They left behind  Norb, a loving father and husband and newly adopted daughter and sister, who are obviously devastated. Please pray for them.

I am sad. I am overwhelmed. I feel like I've lost several battles this week. But I must believe that His mighty presence is bringing light to these dark circumstances. I must pray even when - no, especially when - I don't understand and all I can do is ask why. I must rest in His truth even when the lies of this world tell me that there is no hope for change, no hope for peace. Against all odds, I must believe.